Has she met her match?

So this Spoonman? Well, it’s been somewhere in the ballpark of 2mos of dating.

This is something new to me because it has been quite some time since that magical mutual attraction thing has happened to a certain someone. But it also makes her unbelievably nervous and she loses her memory, making her feel like the flaky, sorority chicks that live mere meters away.

Why is that? I mean, it’s a good thing, to like someone enough to share your free time with him. But it would be nice if my brain would function at least 60% of what it does when he’s not around. I’m funny, witty, and can draw parallels between literature and life or current political events and term life insurance.

Maybe about a month ago, we went out for dinner and I could not remember the name of the dish I wanted. I could have described to the minute detail what items were in the meal even to this day- but the name? Nope. Our lovely waitress [I use the term lovely very loosely] had already snatched the menus up and gave me the most heinous 'Oh,-my-GAH!-How-stupid-is-she?-look.'

Yeah. Nice. But we ordered and all was well. I even joked about it weeks later.

I’ve even made him dinner. He took two large helpings and raved. I thought, “For sure, this will snag him.” Well, sort of, it did. He brought dessert, anyways. No, not Tiramisu.

But I’m pretty sure he’s still dating other girls.

Okay, well, fine. We haven’t talked about being exclusive at all and I don’t really know if I am even ready for it. Hell, I’ve been on dates with other guys in that time [sans dessert]. BUT I will admit it bothers me a tad. Spoonman and I are compatible on a number of different levels and no girl likes to think there’s another that he’s comparably compatible with.

That… and the fact that he answered MY ad that I placed when I realized that he posted a different ad of his own after we’ve gone on quite a few dates. I know his writing style. I’m a writer and seem to have this affinity for patterns so it wasn’t that hard to figure out.

I don’t need to invite drama into my life so I just didn’t respond. Knowing that he’s still on the prowl… at least I know what I am dealing with here. Although, if he doesn’t contact me soon to make plans; I could lose interest. That's just how it goes.

This girl, she sits patiently, enjoys the time she has with him, hopes the interest remains kinetic, and just lives her life for her.

Does anyone have any ice cream?

Presenting: Spoonman

So, I’ve been on several dates with this one boy (for this purpose, we’ll call him “Spoonman”). Spoonman has been different from the moment we first communicated. There was something about him that kept my attention, his emails were impeccably written and clever, a clear master of writing. For me, that’s always been a HUGE turn-on.

Yes, you can all mumble “dork/geek/nerd” under your breath. I know, I’ve heard it before. But these kinds of guys, they tend to be able to hold my attention and keep it not to mention they are great communicators and that bodes well for relationships. Makes, sense, right?

Anyways, so he turns out to be a very good-looking writer that shares a lot in common and we agree to meet out.

We hit it off really well and it wasn’t any of that nervous babble, it was the-lose-track-of-time- sort of conversation. I really had a good time and surprised myself by doing something that rarely happens: a kiss on the first date.

I’m certainly no prude. Any of my close friends will tell you that I’m particularly fond of kissing and other activities of that ilk and so I am not sure why kissing on the first date poses such a quandary for me. But it does. I can’t explain it, but I did it and I knew that I couldn’t just ignore this even though I was not totally sold.

So I agreed to several more dates until we came upon my dreaded 5th date. The past 3 guys I’ve gone on a series of dates with, well, for one reason or another, it never seemed to make it to or past the 5th date. It was my curse that started with PhD Boy (his story will one day be told- just not today.)

Spoonman passes this and then some. So before I go on let me just say…Thank you, Spoonman!

This boy continues to impress and I am on the verge of smitten-ness.

Y'all: The spell checker suggest smuttiness as a correction for smitten-ness.
Cheeky plug-in.
How would it know??

The starting line

Welcome!

This is my first attempt at a blog, so there may be some shin splints and rolled ankles for the time being. Bear with me!

I found myself single for the first time in over 5 years just before my 26th birthday. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel crushed, devastated, completely angry, and confused. But truthfully, I had been in denial.

I knew very well that our lives had changed drastically and were growing together, becoming this ever-growing puddle, like the ones that gather on the sides of public swimming pools. You know the ones that your mom screeched at you to keep away from? The type you get athlete’s foot from. Yeah, it wasn't good.

I promise that at one time it was almost deliriously, obnoxiously happy. Actually, for about 5 years it was wonderful, despite the latter years and long distance stressors. Everyone was shocked because when the puddle started collecting, the distance hid the murkiness that engulfed our puddle.

So after marriage talk and planning, but no actual engagement, I was back to the starting line, with a new job, very few friends (they had moved away to bigger cities, better endeavors), and a broken heart that I was racing to mend.

But really, I loved him and I still do; only it’s different now. Now, I could run through that puddle, leaving a bumpy-ridged New Balance footprint in its midst but I choose, instead, to swiftly run around and past it.

Having never been with anyone else, dating seemed a most daunting task. I hadn’t dated since the first couple of years of college and it was much harder to meet people outside of school. So the training began.

I donned my running shoes and took off after months of hiatus, ready to be proactive in my search for a partner in crime, my Bill Murray (Ew, did I just say that?!), my boy with dark hair and hazel eyes and a wit that keeps me just interested enough to finish the run and might even run along with me.

There have been a few breaks along the way. Regrouping, resting because my training has gone in a negative direction: A cramp, a pulled muscle, necessitating some introspection and healing.

But overall, it has been fun and I’ve learned and continue to learn a lot about myself, that I am not really alone, what I can handle, what I like/dislike, and how far I can really run if I let myself.

This blog hopes to document my journey through a new-found singledom and drawing from experiences in the past to better understand my focus now. I can admit things in my writing that I am afraid to admit to myself and just getting it out is sometimes necessary to getting over and past that hurdle.

And I don’t want to forget how I got here so the blog is serving a second purpose of documentation of the personal growth, unbelievably BAD dates, hilarity, and the trails I’ve run to get here.