The starting line

Welcome!

This is my first attempt at a blog, so there may be some shin splints and rolled ankles for the time being. Bear with me!

I found myself single for the first time in over 5 years just before my 26th birthday. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel crushed, devastated, completely angry, and confused. But truthfully, I had been in denial.

I knew very well that our lives had changed drastically and were growing together, becoming this ever-growing puddle, like the ones that gather on the sides of public swimming pools. You know the ones that your mom screeched at you to keep away from? The type you get athlete’s foot from. Yeah, it wasn't good.

I promise that at one time it was almost deliriously, obnoxiously happy. Actually, for about 5 years it was wonderful, despite the latter years and long distance stressors. Everyone was shocked because when the puddle started collecting, the distance hid the murkiness that engulfed our puddle.

So after marriage talk and planning, but no actual engagement, I was back to the starting line, with a new job, very few friends (they had moved away to bigger cities, better endeavors), and a broken heart that I was racing to mend.

But really, I loved him and I still do; only it’s different now. Now, I could run through that puddle, leaving a bumpy-ridged New Balance footprint in its midst but I choose, instead, to swiftly run around and past it.

Having never been with anyone else, dating seemed a most daunting task. I hadn’t dated since the first couple of years of college and it was much harder to meet people outside of school. So the training began.

I donned my running shoes and took off after months of hiatus, ready to be proactive in my search for a partner in crime, my Bill Murray (Ew, did I just say that?!), my boy with dark hair and hazel eyes and a wit that keeps me just interested enough to finish the run and might even run along with me.

There have been a few breaks along the way. Regrouping, resting because my training has gone in a negative direction: A cramp, a pulled muscle, necessitating some introspection and healing.

But overall, it has been fun and I’ve learned and continue to learn a lot about myself, that I am not really alone, what I can handle, what I like/dislike, and how far I can really run if I let myself.

This blog hopes to document my journey through a new-found singledom and drawing from experiences in the past to better understand my focus now. I can admit things in my writing that I am afraid to admit to myself and just getting it out is sometimes necessary to getting over and past that hurdle.

And I don’t want to forget how I got here so the blog is serving a second purpose of documentation of the personal growth, unbelievably BAD dates, hilarity, and the trails I’ve run to get here.