"They headed down to oooo old El Paso...

That's where they ran in to a great big hassle." ~ Steve Miller Band, Take the Money and Run.

I will be with minimal Internet access for the next week or so and the blogging might be few and far between.

Not that this is anything new.

But if I am unable to post, let me wish everyone a Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Festivus for the rest of us, Merry Chrismuhkah, whatevs.

“If love's so easy, why’s it so hard?”

~ Wilco, I’m Always In Love

One of Limey’s housemates is a cute girl in her early 20’s. She’s just started dating again recently and since she’s cute, she has plenty of potential suitors, only that’s not exactly the way that they see it. Limey calls it her “unknown existential moment.”

One guy just wasn’t her type and she called him to let him know that she didn’t think it was going to work out, only he won’t answer and he won’t return her calls.

Another guy, he is somewhat unavailable and elusive but manages to call her up here and there—presumably late at night…

The last guy, well, while I like that he’s honest with her, he still isn’t right for her. He told her that he’s not into a relationship.

“Well, yeah, he—and THEY-- just want to bang you,” Limey enters the conversation.

“But my past boyfriends wanted to bang me too, “She counters.

“No, they wanted to bang you AND get to know you—to be with you.” Limey retorts.


The Ph.D. in Jerkonomics and Spoonman and, like, what seems like 8239569235 guys, they didn’t want to get to know me at all. They just wanted to bang me.

When Ph.D. in Jerkonomics invited me over to “meet his cat” when we hadn’t even kissed yet… well, thank goodness I was able to procure those UT football tickets instead!

When Spoonman said, “I can’t DO the relationship thing,” what he really meant was, “ I can’t do the relationship thing with YOU.” But really, waiting 4 months to tell me this? Lame. Why couldn’t he have been up front like her guy?

“I’m QUEEN of attracting ‘the bangers’” I told Limey as we talked about the conversation with his housemate. “I mean, that’s like almost every date I’ve been on—with the exception of 2 guys—in almost 3 years. And those 2 guys, they had good intentions but we just weren’t good matches.”

“Exactly, [Scarlett], you’re not going to click with every person you date. This is the point of dating and getting to know someone. And as the girl gets exponentially cuter, it gets harder to weed out ‘the bangers’”

“Right, but [Limey], some of them had a chance to get to know me but either they didn’t pay attention or they didn’t stick around. I know exactly why she’s frustrated.”

“With all due respect [Scarlett], you ARE sort of hard to get to know. It takes a while…”

“There’s nothing wrong with that...” Limey cuts me off by placing a finger against my lips.

“Well, yeah. All I have to say to those guys in your past is: SUCKERS!!!”

"He's a real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere land...

making all his nowhere plans for nobody." ~ The Beatles, Nowhere Man

Sitting in a Best Western here in Eagle-motherfucking-Pass. Thank god for laptops. Lap, lappy tops!

Could I be any more bored? Well, perhaps I would be more bored if I lived here. Not at the Best Western… but in Eagle Passes Gas. Because there's, like, nothing to do here. And I mean nothing. Nothing.

They don't even have a Walgreens. And if there's one thing that I like to do to kill some time it's shop at Walgreens. I'm a total Walgreens whore. Where else can you get massagers, shampoo, meds, and Lee Press-On Nails?

Wal-Mart you say? Well, yes. Eagle Pass has procured one of those.

The Man (that I work for) has been sending me on presentations. It's pretty cool when the town is large, but this place is lackluster. But this is where I have been for the past few weeks- public speaking. It's, like, America's favorite pastime.

Would you believe me if I told you that the La Quinta here in Eagle Pass does not have free high speed Interwebs? Yes, well, believe it as it is the truth. Or should I say "la verdad?" Neither La Quinta nor la verdad mean high speed Interwebs.

I know; I just crushed someone's little world. But I really hate that marketing campaign.

Man, I am bored. Also, I think I am coming down with a cold. Airborne makes some killer shooters. If I had some Gin, I'd mix that up something fierce. But no tonic. Tonic tastes like bile.

Writing about Gin makes me think of Limey. He likes that Gin. Thanksgiving week, we went to a bar that tried to pass off crappy gin poured into the particular blue bottle as Bombay Sapphire but it was not.

Perhaps this is the most random post ever. And for that, I am sorry. Between the boredom, the pseudo sore throat, and driving all of that way, I'm having trouble staying on topic.

Oooo Free HBO.

So sorry, I suck.

Since the last post, I got sick twice, once just before cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my family and then meeting Limey's entire family... and I was sent out of town twice for work.

I did attempt to post a few days ago from my hotel room but Blogger Beta would not cooperate.

So yeah, I will be posting that incredibly crappy entry shortly if only because it makes me laugh at how incredibly "lucid" I was in my ill and grouchy state.

Oh, and I'm still fucking sick. My throat feels like a cat's scratching post slathered in sea salt. It's pleasant, no doubt!