“If love's so easy, why’s it so hard?”

~ Wilco, I’m Always In Love

One of Limey’s housemates is a cute girl in her early 20’s. She’s just started dating again recently and since she’s cute, she has plenty of potential suitors, only that’s not exactly the way that they see it. Limey calls it her “unknown existential moment.”

One guy just wasn’t her type and she called him to let him know that she didn’t think it was going to work out, only he won’t answer and he won’t return her calls.

Another guy, he is somewhat unavailable and elusive but manages to call her up here and there—presumably late at night…

The last guy, well, while I like that he’s honest with her, he still isn’t right for her. He told her that he’s not into a relationship.

“Well, yeah, he—and THEY-- just want to bang you,” Limey enters the conversation.

“But my past boyfriends wanted to bang me too, “She counters.

“No, they wanted to bang you AND get to know you—to be with you.” Limey retorts.


The Ph.D. in Jerkonomics and Spoonman and, like, what seems like 8239569235 guys, they didn’t want to get to know me at all. They just wanted to bang me.

When Ph.D. in Jerkonomics invited me over to “meet his cat” when we hadn’t even kissed yet… well, thank goodness I was able to procure those UT football tickets instead!

When Spoonman said, “I can’t DO the relationship thing,” what he really meant was, “ I can’t do the relationship thing with YOU.” But really, waiting 4 months to tell me this? Lame. Why couldn’t he have been up front like her guy?

“I’m QUEEN of attracting ‘the bangers’” I told Limey as we talked about the conversation with his housemate. “I mean, that’s like almost every date I’ve been on—with the exception of 2 guys—in almost 3 years. And those 2 guys, they had good intentions but we just weren’t good matches.”

“Exactly, [Scarlett], you’re not going to click with every person you date. This is the point of dating and getting to know someone. And as the girl gets exponentially cuter, it gets harder to weed out ‘the bangers’”

“Right, but [Limey], some of them had a chance to get to know me but either they didn’t pay attention or they didn’t stick around. I know exactly why she’s frustrated.”

“With all due respect [Scarlett], you ARE sort of hard to get to know. It takes a while…”

“There’s nothing wrong with that...” Limey cuts me off by placing a finger against my lips.

“Well, yeah. All I have to say to those guys in your past is: SUCKERS!!!”