“I won’t be seeing you for a long while

I hope it’s not as long as these country miles” ~ Camera Obscura, Country Mile


I got my phone call early in the evening last night. I won’t lie… it was good; Real good. I enjoy our conversations and they flow with ease and are woven with laughter. They are the type of conversations that cause you to laugh at the witty banter long after the receiver has hit the cradle. Those types aren’t so common.

We talked about:

IBM

Returning to work after vacation

Our siblings

What there is to do in Austin

Running long distance (hee! Another runner!)

The dismal state of dating in our respective cities:

Cinci with its large population of young married couples with children and the clingy singles; and Austin with the Peter Pan Syndrome/ Clingy and smothering dichotomy. How it’s frustrating for those of us that are not necessarily ready to get married and have kids but would eventually like that. Down the road some… those of us that feel that when it’s right, there will be no fretting giving up our singledom. Just not right now.

And that’s where I am. I almost feel smothered and this is something that Austin Boy and I talked about in the beginning.

“I’ve got codependency issues.” Austin Boy says to me, causing a deafening silence that makes me blink several times over.

“I’ve got issues with giving up my free time and with clingy people. I am letting you know this because if I feel trapped, I will push away.”

Austin Boy frowns as I think, “Well great, it’s doomed.”

Austin Boy pipes up, “We will just have to communicate well with each other to make sure our needs are met.”

At this moment Jenny Lewis’ lyrics pop into my head: “Are we killing time?
Are we killing each other?”

Hmmm.

This is where I left for the great north and met Cinci. So there were the guilt really sets in. I did not expect what happened as my interest waned over the year. AND I in no way condone my behavior but I am technically single as I declined Austin Boy’s relationship request as it was far too premature.

And there’s the small, devilish voice in me that says, “F-it. Scarlett, you’re young. Stop being an over-analyzing girl and have fun!”

So I am.