"I'll never be all you want me to....

but that's alright." ~Jayhawks, I'm Gonna Make You Love Me.

This morning as I walked into the office, I was greeted with a hearty, "Happy Birthday!"

"It's not my birthday... yyyyet. What's this?" My cubicle was strewn with confetti, streamers, and a couple balloons. "It's not for another 16 days."

16 days. I think to myself, "That's.... one more day than half a month."

It's not very long. And time is slip sliding into the known.

The other day, I was invited to a NIN concert as someone's date. I accepted as I used to be pretty into them, you know, back in high school. Then I realized that 12-15 years had escaped my grasp since I've bought one of his albums. Sorry Trent, my tastes have changed drastically.

But-- 12 to 15 YEARS! Just when did I get to be old enough that teen and preteen numbers no longer allude to early childhood or toddler years? Time is funny like that. Not "ha,ha-funny" but "weird-funny."

My parents have stopped freaking out so much about my activities on dates and have started freaking out about the dates actually leading to a chain of dates. They've started checking out the left hands of good-looking men for glimmer of a ring. Well, the lack thereof. I mean, seriously, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!

My siblings are also in their 20's.

The children that I used to babysit when I was 12 years old are now in college.

Yet, it doesn't feel all that long ago. And in a lot of ways, I still feel like a kid, myself. A responsible adult, but only responsible for me. If I want to eat ice cream for every mean one day, I can. If I want to lay around all day in my skivvies and read, it's up to me. Bedtime is also no longer dependent on a parent's nagging. Yet, I floss and brush my teeth every night because that's what a responsible adult should do.

I just like having teeth that aren't smeared with Fixident to stay put.

All of the things that I swore as a child that I wouldn't make myself do, I do.

• brush my teeth and floss
  
• drink wine and beer
  
• like the color pink
  
• make my bed--or at least pull up the comforter!
  
• let the dishes sit overnight (well, not that often)
  
• kiss boys
  
• scrub the tub
  
• wear skirts
  
• kiss my family members when greeting/parting
  
• eat ice cream for a meal
  
  

-- Wait, that's something I promised myself I would do!
Things like:

• learn guitar
  
• turn up the music a little TOO loud
  
• own a cat despite allergies
  
• have a tall, fluffy bed, overthrown with pillows
  
• bake a pie just for the hell of it
  
• take lots of baths
  
• make lots of lists and actually FOLLOW them
  
• always be on time
  
• dance a silly dance at least once a week-- in my living room, with the music up too loud, and wearing my underfrillies
  

Hey, a girl's got to have her vices.